You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
