Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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