Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
