My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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