a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was confusing and full of hummus
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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