do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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