Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
