Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
