I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
