Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
