And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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