Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
