ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
