WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
