is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
