So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
