i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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