she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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