shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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