i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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