just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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