Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
