I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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