Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
