Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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