i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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