Its about making memories worth repressing
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
