we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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