i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
