I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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