Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
