Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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