just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize