No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
