He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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