Can i not drive my cunt home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize