He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
