honey bunches of taint.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
