Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
