Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
