Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
