That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
