The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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