It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
