i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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