when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
