On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
