can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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