Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
