Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
