so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
