im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
