so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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