My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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