I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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