you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We smell like vodka and hangover
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