My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
