Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
His nipple licking is glorious
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