I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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