...so i touched it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
