I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize