alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
