There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mom said you looked used
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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