Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
